Sorry, but this post, like my day, is very long.
I started my work day at home before I had to run to a meeting at one of my employer’s facilities. The meeting was supposed to last for 90 minutes. After that, I was going to run to the bank to a get a form notarized and close my account, as I’m really ticked off at my bank for being one unhelpful, big pain in the a$$. I was then going to go open an account at a different bank. I figured I had plenty of time to do this before I had to be at a second meeting at the building where I normally work.
The 90 minute meeting lasted 3 hours, leaving me only one hour to run my errands and drive 24 miles.
I decided I would just try to get my form notarized. Yesterday, I had to call the bank and have them walk me through the form line by line to fill it out because it was so confusing. I was anxious to jump through the next hoop.
First I deposited a check with the teller, who told me I qualified for a better checking account than I had. Why wasn’t I just given the best checking account I qualified for when I opened it? Chock one more up for my bank costing me time and money.
I didn’t have time to mess with changing my account but I still wanted to get the notarization out of the way. I sat down with a banker and laid out my document for her to look at. She right away asked me for a statement of my account.
Me: “What? The guy on the phone told me I just needed to bring in the completed form.”
Banker: “But how would I know what you really have in your account without the statement? I can’t just sign without knowing what you’ve written down is factual.”
Me: “But the form is being sent to someone who knows what’s factual because they hold the account so it’s not like I can get by with swindling anything.”
Banker: “I’m sorry. I need the statement.”
(I’m so sick of hearing Wells Fargo employees tell me how sorry they are. If they were really sorry, they’d quite messing with me.)
Me: “Sh!+!!! D#mn I+!!!”
I grab my form and exit with very dramatic muttering and flinging of swinging door.
I drive like a mad woman to my house to pick up the statement so I can try and get a signature again after work. I race onward to my next meeting. On the way, I run into construction taking three lanes down to one, a car accident which everyone has to gawk at, and a car driven up the side of a hill and completely consumed by fire — more gawker slow down.
I was fifteen minutes late for my meeting.
After my meeting, I checked with my city on some questions I had about putting up a fence. My neighbor hooked me up with a surveyor that would ONLY charge me $375 to survey my property. I was still looking for other options.
The kind city clerk connected me up with a public works guy, who’s going to loan me (for free!) a better metal detector than the one I previously rented, which turned out to be worthless.
I have to pick up the detector from the city in the morning. Unfortunately, I forgot to ask when I need to return it. Hopefully not until the next morning.
Me: Renewed hope at finding property stakes. Go Maery! Need to remember to call utilities to flag lines so as not to pound my marker into a gas or electric line.
After work, I drove to the bank to give it another try. Just for grins and giggles, I decide to not provide the statement unless asked for it.
Banker: “I need your driver’s license and bank card for identification.”
Me: Hands the banker the form, my license, and my bank card.
Banker: Has me sign the form and stamps it.
Me: “Thank you”
Banker: “Have a good evening.”
Me: Walks towards door muttering “Oh, my gosh! I can’t believe it!” Punctuated by a bit of snorting guffaw outbursts.
Next stop is the Department of Motor Vehicles, which is opened until 7 PM on Tuesdays. I needed to get the misspelling of my name corrected. They spelled it Marey instead of Maery when I had my name changed on my license in May. I didn’t get this correction done earlier as I knew I’d soon need to change the address. I also needed to change the vehicle registration on the truck and horse trailer from my X’s name to mine and waited on that too until I had my new address and was ready to correct my driver’s license.
So I brought my current license, the temporary yellow paper I received when I had the license changed, and the vehicle registration forms with me to the DMV.
The woman at the counter, I’ll call her Ms. DMV, looked at my license and yellow form and asked: “Did you bring your previous license? The one with corner clipped off?”
Me: “No. I just moved. If I did keep it, I don’t know where it would be.”
Ms DMV: “Well, I need it. Do you have your divorce decree?”
Me: “No. I brought all that stuff when I originally got the name change. I couldn’t have got the new license without the correct paperwork. I wouldn’t have the yellow form all correctly filled out and stamped if I hadn’t already done that. But whoever creates the issued license made a typo on my name. Why do I need to submit all that documentation all over again?”
Ms DMV: “So I know this is actually how you spell your name.”
Me: “What about a bank card? A charge card? What about that the yellow slip is correct and stamped so obviously I already did this once correctly and someone else messed it up.”
Ms DMV: “Well, we only will make a free correction to a license 6 months after it was issued.”
Me: “It’s only been 3 months.”
Ms DMV: “It was issued in May!”
Ms DMV: Starts counting on fingers while silently mouthing “May, June, July, August … Oh, yeah, okay.”
(I am not kidding about this. She ACTUALLY counted on her fingers, starting with the pinky.)
Me: Thumps forehead with hand.
Ms DMV: “Well, you should have been here by 4:30. Someone here could have looked up the information online then.”
Me – thinking silently: “Okay, so only simple tasks that can be done by drones is allowable after 4:30. They should indicate that in the description of their extended Tuesday hours.”
Ms DMV: “And I still need the divorce decree to see the name change and I can’t change the vehicle titles until your license is corrected.”
Me: Starting to giggle and drool slightly. Thinking about thumping head on desk.
Ms DMV: “Please write down a phone number that I can call you at tomorrow after I talk to someone and find out exactly what documentation you need to bring in.”
Me: Writes down phone number. Stuffs papers back into envelope. Walks out shaking head, laughing, and muttering, “This is unbelievable.” Looks towards heavens and asks, “Is this cheap entertainment? Do I amuse you?”
So out of my plans for today of getting my form signed, closing my old bank account, opening a new bank account, and getting my license and vehicle registrations straightened out — I got my form signed.
Oh yeah, and I managed to drill a couple holes in the wall, put in anchors, and installed a hook. Unfortunately, I used very shiny silver screws so I pulled out my brown and black acrylic paints and dirtied up the screws. Still, I was very proud of my drilling.
Oh yeah, and last night I discovered that my little riding lawn mower cannot make it up the hills in my front yard. The motor lost power, almost stalled out and did a lot of back firing. It was very embarrassing.
So another thing to add to my list of things to spend money on that I was not planning on spending money on – a self propelled mower as I doubt whether Maery propulsion will make it up the hills without losing power either.
Life is messy, but we’re trying to just go with it.
And mega-doses of ice cream and wine help.