No Pillar of Salt for Me

My sister advised me not to be like Lot’s wife and spend my time looking backwards, lest I turn into a pillar of salt. Perhaps pillar of salt was a metaphor for grief and the salty tears that sadness brings?

I know I can’t get through this time without grieving, without examining my life to some extent, but I do think my sister’s words about not getting stuck there, to not put all my time and attention on the past, is good advice.

My new motto has been to do the things I enjoy most first. The result is that I’m happier but my house is a total mess.

Yesterday, besides discussing with my husband the division of property and money, and selling of the house (the not enjoyable stuff), I rode Murphy and Luke, and went for a walk in the park with Java. 

I’ve been riding both horses only in my outdoor ring, which is fenced and is a better place to handle shying and blow ups. Since they both have been pretty good, with only a few episodes of bolting from rustling leaves and no blow ups, I decided yesterday to ride a little ways off the property. 

Murphy and I rode the circumference  of my neighbors hay field and Luke I rode back around my neighbors woods. Neither trip was very far from home. I’ll increase distance as I go along.

With two horses that are nervous about being off the property by themselves, it sure would be nice to have a riding buddy. I’m still hoping to learn how to hook up the trailer and be able to back it up with some level of confidence before the truck and trailer disappear from my life. 

I was planning on alternating trailering Luke and Murphy to a park nearby and riding by myself or asking some stranger I run into at the park if I can ride with them. But I’m thinking that might be a bit risky since the horses are not used to being trailered and ridden alone at a park and hoping to run into someone that happens to be riding when I go is iffy. So the new plan is, if I can master the trailer thing, I can call and make arrangements to meet up with another horse person I know in the area. Once Luke and Murphy have been on the trail more, I might be able to go it alone. For now, I might be going it alone on a lot of things…

I’ll finish up with a photo taken in 2003 of Luke and I in the pasture. Please ignore the ugly painter pants and gray shirt I’m in. I never said I was stylish, but really, I do have a great personality…

Luke and Mary 2003

p.s. Pony Girl brought up some interesting thoughts/questions about relationships in her comments on a previous post that I want to respond to, so I’ll be posting something about my feelings on relationships and what makes them successful or not very soon. 

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  1. I like your new motto. It’s much better to have a messy house but have time to do the things that you love.

    You seem to be fighting to keep your spirits up. You’re incredibly strong.

  2. Mary, it is very easy to hook up the trailer, now backing up is another story! But I highly recommend that you learn. I am so happy that I can go out and hook up the trailer and just go! But I don’t go out on the trails by myself for safety reason, I always bring along a riding partner.
    I can’t wait to hear your insight on relationships!

  3. You go girl! Riding your horses and getting them used to being out “in the big world,” even if it’s just a little ways from the barn 🙂 That’s a big accomplishment, believe me!

    I love that picture of you and Luke…and you always make me laugh with your silly comments. I like your painter pants and gray shirt, and I’m sure you *do* have a great personality, too 😀

    By the way, I’m drooling over that handsome devil…Luke is beautiful! You sure know how to pick a cute family 🙂

    Give everyone a squish for me! And high five on that messy house…better to have lived fully than have lived too cleanly 😉

  4. KB – Doing the fun things first is something I’m doing now to keep my spirits up but I think it’s a good habit. One that I’ll keep long term

    Paint Girl – I hope to try hooking up this weekend and doing back up practice. Got some buckets ready for an obstacle course. I hope my latest post doesn’t disappoint.

    Sue – Luke looks a lot better in that photo than he does right now. He has some more shedding and workouts to do before he looks summer sleek. But I do love his mane.

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