Two More Bottles of Wine
I had mediation with my husband and our attorneys yesterday. Nothing unexpected, well, maybe a little unexpected.
I had mediation with my husband and our attorneys yesterday. Nothing unexpected, well, maybe a little unexpected.
I had a dream, that I would live happily ever after with the man I loved. I had a dream, that we would love each other and take care of each other. Always. I had a dream… And I remind myself. No I yell at myself. To try and get through to the heart that…
When my cousin and I were around 12 to 14 years old we paddled a rubber raft from the cabin all the way down the shore to the bay. When we turned to go back to the cabin, we were fighting waves and wind in a device that wasn’t exactly built to cut through water….
I’m hoping that the pain and hurt is on a bell curve and I’m hitting the peak. If so, I will soon start my journey down the other side of the bell and this will all become a more manageable ache. ~ Mary Olson Java and I ran some errands this morning, which took longer…
You follow people’s lives in their blogs and you rejoice over the good times, but you hate seeing people go through the bad times. I suggest you read this post by Amy at the DVM’s Wife and KB’s post in Romping and Rolling in the Rockies and see if it doesn’t make you think about…
I woke up and realized I was a double-D, not the bra size, I mean that I was feeling the effects of divorce and depression. I did the only thing a cowgirl can do in such a situation. I loaded my horse onto the trailer and went trail riding. This whole trailering thing has given…
After having so much fun on the 4th being with friends and family at the lake, it seemed especially quiet and empty when I came home. Usually H and I would have company at our house for a 4th of July celebration or we’d go to a park where a band was playing and there…
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That sounds very painful to me, like a day that must have left you drained beyond words. Take care of yourself. Do something nice for yourself (good idea, skipping the two bottles of wine). I’m thinking of you.
I’ve been following your blog for awhile but didn’t feel the NEED to comment until today.
I feel your pain, like I haven’t felt in years. When my own divorce occurred, I didn’t take the time to deal with it.
What you experienced on your ride home is called anxiety. Please make sure you have some help within calling distance. In my personal experience, it can be a precursor to panic attacks and in my case black outs.
Repeat after me…”and this, too, shall pass…” alternate with ” better days are coming”
I’m singing this one, quite a bit, these days
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFG9dwolo3Q
My heart goes out to you. Too bad you just can’t turn the emotional pain off like a light-switch. The scars run very deep I’m sure. In time they will heal, in time you will get all this behind you. This I can say with authority, God has something and someone very special just for you. May He be your comfort and your strength right now. Take care of yourself and I’ll sure remember you in my prayers.
Have a better day just resting in His arms, ’cause he cares for YOU beautiful gal!!!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this Maery, it’s hardly fair.
I’ll bet when you find that perfect new place for you, you’ll make it really cute and with more YOU in it.
That does sound a lot like anxiety…but who can blame you.
home is where the heart is…. glad you made it back… heal well my friend
blessings
gp
I am so sorry!! You are in my thoughts, as always!!
That would be a tough day for anyone – don’t feel bad about feeling bad! And don’t feel like you have to grieve on anyone else’s time table. You will get through all this, but you will find your own way through.
Loads of love, love, love and bravery and support and sympathy and anything else you need.
Maery Rose…It sounds like you are getting to the final stages of this divorce. I sure hope you end up with something that you can use as a fresh start. Hang on woman! You are almost there. One day at a time…keep breathing. It’s amazing how your emotions can have such power over you. Anxiety can definitely play tricks on you. You seem to have a lot of support out here…and understanding for what you are going through. You can do this.
KB – My brain was still a bit muddled today but I went to work, then choir practice and tomorrow I’m getting together with a couple friends. I’m doing some ski research too. Trying to look forward.
Anonymous – Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Yesterday was another hill to climb. I’m sure there will be more.
Nezzy – Thanks for your prayers. That means a lot to me.
Lynn – Looking forward to seeing you guys tomorrow and eating lots of chocolate.
GP – I have GPS (God, Prayer, and Spirit) to guide me in moments like these.
PG – I miss you!
Dog Geek – Thanks for recognizing something that often people don’t get. It’s not that I’ve gone completely backwards but there are many layers to this grief to work through.
Roxanne – Thanks, thanks, thanks. =)
Lori – You must have been commenting at the same time I was cause you weren’t there a minute ago. I ran into someone today who said “You must be anxious to have this over with.” And actually, no I’m not. How can I be anxious for something I don’t want?
I guess I want the pain to end, but when the judge signs off on the divorce, I will be diving to a whole new depth of pain and I haven’t figured out yet how I’m going to protect myself from that. It will be one of many times that I really wish my sisters were here.
I’m so happy to see all these comments– all these women in your corner. Count me among them! I’m sorry you have to experience this pain.
One thing that worked for me during a tough time was writing what I wanted my life to look like a year ahead, and I wrote it as if it were already true. “When I get up the first thing i see is __” etc.
If you do this repeatedly, I don’t know if it puts something out there in the universe or what, but it works– you get there.
Hang in there hon.
What a sad day for you..I am sorry Maery for the rough patch in the road. Hang in there:)
Sue – I’ve been starting to think about doing something similar, kind of a vision for 2010 and beyond.
Far Side – It is sad, but at least I’m getting back up faster.
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