A Woman Scorned
How much more attractive a woman newly in love must be than a woman scorned and wrapped in grief.
How much more attractive a woman newly in love must be than a woman scorned and wrapped in grief.
I’ve written a lot in the past couple days, but stopped myself from posting what I wrote. I’ve been caught up in thoughts about things H said to me before he left, trying to figure out what they meant, and come to some sort of peace about it. A friend said to me today,…
Crazy, busy day. I’m never ready for Christmas and this year is no different. I wrote my Christmas cards last night and wrapped a present for my son, so the key thing to get done today was make a trip to the post office. I was dreading that, knowing how busy it would be. So…
I was going to shutdown my blog today. Spare anyone who reads this from watching me crash and burn. I’m feeling unfit for human consumption. I swore I wouldn’t let myself act like a victim ever again, but lack of sleep has left me open to emotions and thoughts I didn’t think I’d ever experience…
I’m not happy, I’m cheerful. There’s a difference. A happy woman has no cares at all. A cheerful woman has cares but has learned how to deal with them.— Beverly Sills (1929-) American Opera Singer Last Monday morning I was cleaning up manure and I must have gotten distracted, which happens quite often to me….
Meredith: “After a trauma, your body is at its most vulnerable. Response time is critical. So you’re suddenly surrounded by people—doctors, nurses, specialists, technicians—surgery is a team sport. Everyone pushing for the finish line. Putting you back together again. But surgery is a trauma in and of itself, and once it’s over, the real healing…
Hmmm… I’ve listed my losses, now what about gains? The word “gains” itself doesn’t seem quite right. How can divorce bring about anything that could be considered a gain? A list of “Things That Don’t Suck” might be more appropriate, but I’m having trouble with that too. Reaching deep for this one. I can write…
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Mary…love the photo! Stay busy…don’t spend all your time thinking about the past. What you need now is time. Recovery does not come quickly or easily and it is good to know that you have friends that can keep you busy. I don’t think that anyone has an easy time going through this kind of an experience…one day at a time. Hang in there.
Mary– i love your taste in music! Also, I can say after meeting you in person you are absolutely beautiful. Don’t ever question that someone out there won’t find you attractive– I think with you it’ll be more a matter of thinning the herd.
Keep listening to that “strong” music, and trying new things and reaching out to friends. You’ll get through this, and you’re right, still plenty of time to create that ideal life you dream of.
Lori – I know. I’m trying not to get caught up in “what ifs” and be a little more patient with myself. I feel so down sometimes that it frightens me that I’ll always feel that bad. You’re right – it will take time and it won’t be easy, but I’ll get through it, step-by-step.
Sue – Thanks so much for taking me kayaking! I loved it! I want one bad! And your place is wonderful. Maybe someday I can have an original Sue sculpture at my house. Thanks again for letting me hang with you guys.
Mary!
I found you at PG’s blog.
You and I have so many similarities:
Polish background.
My ex-wife left for “greener” pastures(in 1983).
and so on…
I went to counseling for 6 months and that helped immensely.
I remarried in 1985 and am still married to my real soulmate. I know how bleak things may look to you now, but
Plan your future.
Think about things that make YOU happy.
DO things that make you happy.
Keep busy.
Btw, pseudosu is correct: You are a very beautiful lady and talented, it will “be more a matter of thinning the herd” when word gets out that you are available.
Be confident. Be positive. Look yourself in the eyes(in the mirror I guess) and keep this song in your head:
Pick yourself up,Dust yourself off and start all over again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGUsRGuZb6k&feature=related
and it completes here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxPgplMujzQ&feature=related
Sincerely,
Garlic Man
Mary,
I agree with Lori. Be patient, you need time to heal. I’ve never gone through what your current journey but in other kinds of losses, time brings perspective and the possibility of being happy again. You will not feel like this for the rest of your life. I can tell from your blog that you’re a kick-@$$ woman who will find her happiness.
I also have to agree with anonymous about counseling. If you find a good one, a counselor can help you to develop strategies for dealing with your grief and can help you to identify patterns that aren’t good. I had a big loss about 10 years ago, and I still remember the wise words that my counselor said about certain thought patterns of mine. Those words still help me to avoid the same old traps.
Garlic Man – Thanks for stopping by and for giving me encouragement. Loved the video link.
KB – I’m feeling kind of kick-@$$. I drove the horse trailer with Murphy in it to the park after work and went riding on my own. No mountain lions or bears to worry about, but horses seem to see such things behind every log anyway.
I’ve been thinking about the counseling but I’ve had such bad experiences with therapists. I need to be careful in picking one that fits and that would be good at helping me dig to the root of all the thoughts rolling around in my head.