A Woman Scorned
How much more attractive a woman newly in love must be than a woman scorned and wrapped in grief.
How much more attractive a woman newly in love must be than a woman scorned and wrapped in grief.
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. — Annie Dillard My friend Deb died yesterday morning from cancer, only two weeks after entering the hospital and finding the tumor. She was an inspiration in the way she lived her life, always giving you her full attention when you spoke…
It’s been a busy weekend. The weather has been too nice to spend very much time inside. I even took a swim in the pool! The water was 77 degrees, and I got a cramp in my foot as soon as I broke the surface, but it was still wonderful. I was hoping Sue would…
The following poem is a real mish-mash. I couldn’t decide whether to rhyme or not rhyme and the rhythm is illusive. I’m sure I’ve broken every rule in the poetry rule book by now. I should have just skipped the “door” poem, but it’s been snaking through my brain tissue and had to come out,…
“Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain…. accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields….” ~ Kahlil Gibran I’ve baked so many cookies lately that I should weigh 200…
My friend Lynn is doing a 10 day writing challenge, while I am on the third day of my “however long it takes” manure scoop-along. Anyone want to join me? I’ll spare you more poop photos, but I finished along the side of the barn and the corner alongside the run-in. And right now…
my Willow girl I’m wondering what kinds of traditions people have for the holidays? Especially anyone who doesn’t have their family nearby. Fortunately, most of the people who read this blog don’t appear to be in that situation. My family has traditions like measuring noses to see whose nose is the biggest. It’s not mine!…
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Mary…love the photo! Stay busy…don’t spend all your time thinking about the past. What you need now is time. Recovery does not come quickly or easily and it is good to know that you have friends that can keep you busy. I don’t think that anyone has an easy time going through this kind of an experience…one day at a time. Hang in there.
Mary– i love your taste in music! Also, I can say after meeting you in person you are absolutely beautiful. Don’t ever question that someone out there won’t find you attractive– I think with you it’ll be more a matter of thinning the herd.
Keep listening to that “strong” music, and trying new things and reaching out to friends. You’ll get through this, and you’re right, still plenty of time to create that ideal life you dream of.
Lori – I know. I’m trying not to get caught up in “what ifs” and be a little more patient with myself. I feel so down sometimes that it frightens me that I’ll always feel that bad. You’re right – it will take time and it won’t be easy, but I’ll get through it, step-by-step.
Sue – Thanks so much for taking me kayaking! I loved it! I want one bad! And your place is wonderful. Maybe someday I can have an original Sue sculpture at my house. Thanks again for letting me hang with you guys.
Mary!
I found you at PG’s blog.
You and I have so many similarities:
Polish background.
My ex-wife left for “greener” pastures(in 1983).
and so on…
I went to counseling for 6 months and that helped immensely.
I remarried in 1985 and am still married to my real soulmate. I know how bleak things may look to you now, but
Plan your future.
Think about things that make YOU happy.
DO things that make you happy.
Keep busy.
Btw, pseudosu is correct: You are a very beautiful lady and talented, it will “be more a matter of thinning the herd” when word gets out that you are available.
Be confident. Be positive. Look yourself in the eyes(in the mirror I guess) and keep this song in your head:
Pick yourself up,Dust yourself off and start all over again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGUsRGuZb6k&feature=related
and it completes here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxPgplMujzQ&feature=related
Sincerely,
Garlic Man
Mary,
I agree with Lori. Be patient, you need time to heal. I’ve never gone through what your current journey but in other kinds of losses, time brings perspective and the possibility of being happy again. You will not feel like this for the rest of your life. I can tell from your blog that you’re a kick-@$$ woman who will find her happiness.
I also have to agree with anonymous about counseling. If you find a good one, a counselor can help you to develop strategies for dealing with your grief and can help you to identify patterns that aren’t good. I had a big loss about 10 years ago, and I still remember the wise words that my counselor said about certain thought patterns of mine. Those words still help me to avoid the same old traps.
Garlic Man – Thanks for stopping by and for giving me encouragement. Loved the video link.
KB – I’m feeling kind of kick-@$$. I drove the horse trailer with Murphy in it to the park after work and went riding on my own. No mountain lions or bears to worry about, but horses seem to see such things behind every log anyway.
I’ve been thinking about the counseling but I’ve had such bad experiences with therapists. I need to be careful in picking one that fits and that would be good at helping me dig to the root of all the thoughts rolling around in my head.