A Woman Scorned
How much more attractive a woman newly in love must be than a woman scorned and wrapped in grief.
How much more attractive a woman newly in love must be than a woman scorned and wrapped in grief.
After having so much fun on the 4th being with friends and family at the lake, it seemed especially quiet and empty when I came home. Usually H and I would have company at our house for a 4th of July celebration or we’d go to a park where a band was playing and there…
It started out looking like a very depressing Labor Day weekend, without much to do to distract me from my divorce funk. But then, in steps Super Cousin A! Who, being the lovely person that she is, invited me out to the family cabin on Sunday. A and her husband and their now adult children…
What ought one to say then as each hardship comes? I was practicing for this, I was training for this. — Epictetus (55-135 AD) Greek Philosopher My sister T and her husband P came to visit me from California. They arrived Thursday evening. Java rode with me to the airport. I had to drive the…
It’s been a few days since I posted. Not that I haven’t written tons and tons, but thank God I have demonstrated some degree of self control and not publicized my sad, grieving, horrifying thoughts. A word of advice, when you lose your love, do not read poetry like this: The Summer We Almost Split…
It’s our 9-year wedding anniversary today and it’s been tough. I had hoped to be out at a fancy restaurant, sipping a glass of wine. I was REALLY looking forward to our 10th anniversary because I figured 10-years was worthy of taking a big trip — Hawaii, Ireland, Spain, a Mediterranean cruise — I shouldn’t…
I had to drive to my regular cubical today, a 45 minute trek versus the 15 minutes it took me to get the site we were implementing software at. Bummer. And right when road construction and gas prices seem to be on the rise. After work, I rushed home to let the dog out and…
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Mary…love the photo! Stay busy…don’t spend all your time thinking about the past. What you need now is time. Recovery does not come quickly or easily and it is good to know that you have friends that can keep you busy. I don’t think that anyone has an easy time going through this kind of an experience…one day at a time. Hang in there.
Mary– i love your taste in music! Also, I can say after meeting you in person you are absolutely beautiful. Don’t ever question that someone out there won’t find you attractive– I think with you it’ll be more a matter of thinning the herd.
Keep listening to that “strong” music, and trying new things and reaching out to friends. You’ll get through this, and you’re right, still plenty of time to create that ideal life you dream of.
Lori – I know. I’m trying not to get caught up in “what ifs” and be a little more patient with myself. I feel so down sometimes that it frightens me that I’ll always feel that bad. You’re right – it will take time and it won’t be easy, but I’ll get through it, step-by-step.
Sue – Thanks so much for taking me kayaking! I loved it! I want one bad! And your place is wonderful. Maybe someday I can have an original Sue sculpture at my house. Thanks again for letting me hang with you guys.
Mary!
I found you at PG’s blog.
You and I have so many similarities:
Polish background.
My ex-wife left for “greener” pastures(in 1983).
and so on…
I went to counseling for 6 months and that helped immensely.
I remarried in 1985 and am still married to my real soulmate. I know how bleak things may look to you now, but
Plan your future.
Think about things that make YOU happy.
DO things that make you happy.
Keep busy.
Btw, pseudosu is correct: You are a very beautiful lady and talented, it will “be more a matter of thinning the herd” when word gets out that you are available.
Be confident. Be positive. Look yourself in the eyes(in the mirror I guess) and keep this song in your head:
Pick yourself up,Dust yourself off and start all over again
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGUsRGuZb6k&feature=related
and it completes here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxPgplMujzQ&feature=related
Sincerely,
Garlic Man
Mary,
I agree with Lori. Be patient, you need time to heal. I’ve never gone through what your current journey but in other kinds of losses, time brings perspective and the possibility of being happy again. You will not feel like this for the rest of your life. I can tell from your blog that you’re a kick-@$$ woman who will find her happiness.
I also have to agree with anonymous about counseling. If you find a good one, a counselor can help you to develop strategies for dealing with your grief and can help you to identify patterns that aren’t good. I had a big loss about 10 years ago, and I still remember the wise words that my counselor said about certain thought patterns of mine. Those words still help me to avoid the same old traps.
Garlic Man – Thanks for stopping by and for giving me encouragement. Loved the video link.
KB – I’m feeling kind of kick-@$$. I drove the horse trailer with Murphy in it to the park after work and went riding on my own. No mountain lions or bears to worry about, but horses seem to see such things behind every log anyway.
I’ve been thinking about the counseling but I’ve had such bad experiences with therapists. I need to be careful in picking one that fits and that would be good at helping me dig to the root of all the thoughts rolling around in my head.