Being a Strong Woman

It was a beautiful day today – low 70s. So as soon as I got home from work, before I lost daylight, I changed clothes and rode Murphy. 

Since I didn’t have anyone to take photos. I decided to try and take my own. Thus the shots of the top of Murphy’s head.

And the horse and rider shadow shot. 

And the shot of poor, forlorn Java, who had to be tied with a lunge line to a tree while I rode. She tends to think horses are big dogs and tears around them trying to get them to play. The horses are not amused.

The arena I’m riding in was a birthday present from my husband in 2007. Before that, I had to ride on uneven, hard clay with a thin layer of grass. Below is the arena model I received on my 50th birthday.

Here’s the start of the work.

And putting in fence.

I know I shouldn’t dwell on these things. It doesn’t do any good. But the memories keep coming. He’s been a loving man.

I wish I’d known he felt he was living my dream and not his own. I thought what we were building was his dream too. 

You can’t know what you’re not told, so I’m trying to avoid the self-blame.

I’ve received so much encouragement and compassion from people. Thanks so much for lifting my spirits. 

And I’ve been told that I’m a strong woman and will make it through this, even if I don’t feel like it now. I know that’s true, I just wish there wasn’t a situation in my life that required me to summon up that part of me. 

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  1. What wonderful pictures-and GOOD for you for getting up on your sweet Murphy and having a lovely early evening ride!

    Java does look pretty put out by the whole event, heeheee-silly dog! I give my Guppies big frozen bison bones (or frozen stuffed kongs) when I’m working with my Flowers so that they don’t feel like they are missing out. Maybe that would help her look forward to your pony time?

    What a beautiful arena…I’m so sorry that your husband didn’t let you know that it was your dream and not his. That’s got to be difficult to deal with but you are so right-how could you have known? He sounds like he was a good man, and that’s a rarity when going through a divorce. I’m so sorry…the memories must be hard. Sigh…

    I understand what you mean about wishing you didn’t have to summon up that level of strength. I’m just happy that you DO have that strength because there is a wide open world out there that needs a Mary Olson leaping in and discovering what lies ahead. But first: healing by taking the time to be with those you love, and gaining strength from the real and unconditional relationships with your fuzzy family, and remember that you are not alone 🙂

    If you lived nearby I’d invite you over for a romp in the snow with all of The Yahoos…Java would adore the Guppies! And vice versa 🙂

    Thinking of you today…sending you lots of extra strength!

  2. Mary, I read your other post and I’m so sad. Not being married myself, I think I forget how hard relationships are. I was at dinner with a friend tonight who has been married for 10 years and she was saying that it is not always an easy road. I can only imagine how you are feeling. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. Keep your faith, do what you love, and use and abuse your close friends and family right now, they will be an amazing support system for you through this! I’m sending warm thoughts and prayers your way!

  3. Thank you for your encouragement everyone!

    Sue – The snow looks beautiful where you are and Java would love to romp in it. You never know. Someday it might happen.

    Pony Girl – Thanks for stopping by again. Relationships are hard but worth the work. I love what you say about doing what you love and using and abusing friends. I’m doing both to keep my sanity. Sorry friends…

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