Is It Saturday Yet?

I know my writing at times is depressing. I guess writing about how I feel is how I cope with the bad times. It’s not where I stay all the time though. 

I get daily e-mails from an organization called Divorce Care that suggests ways to get through grief, anger, depression and other emotions and issues that divorce causes.

Their suggestions for dealing with thoughts and feelings have not been very helpful but it has been reassuring to read some of the quotes of what other divorced people have to say. 

Here’s an example: “I remember feeling very ugly, unlovable, undesirable as a woman, unsuccessful, a total washout as a human being, and a complete failure,” admits Marie. 

I think Marie and I could be total buds, but it probably wouldn’t be a good thing. 

Or how about this:

“I had absolutely no idea what loneliness was until I found out my husband was having an affair,” says Harriet. “For two months I lived with the knowledge that my husband, the person I had loved and trusted more than anyone in the world, had betrayed me.” 

“I knew for the first time what loneliness was, true loneliness, and why there’s a difference in loneliness and being alone. I could be in a room full of people, and loneliness was there. Loneliness was my constant companion.” 

Not only do you feel separated from people, you also feel a sense of rejection from them. When you’re rejected by someone whose opinion truly matters to you, such as your spouse, you can mistakenly feel that you are a “reject.” 

Wait a go Harriet! I couldn’t have expressed it better myself.

I am so looking forward to this weekend and hoping that Java and I can get out skijoring. It’s been pretty darn cold here and if I go Saturday morning as I’m planning, it will be about 4 degrees. But if it’s sunny and not windy, we should survive. 

My fall on the ice mainly hurt my neck, back and shoulder. The shoulder is the one that’s been hurting for 6 months and only hurts slightly more now. The neck and back I think are muscular pain. I probably reflexively tried to tuck my head to keep it from hitting the ice which strained the neck and back muscles. My headache is just a result of the neck pain. You didn’t know I had a medical degree did you? I’m playing the wait and see game since I’ve certainly felt worse than this.

Today my son said he might be moving to London. Hmmm… Actually, I think that would be a very exciting thing to do. I’d love to live in another country for a year or so to see what it’s like. My dream place has been Ireland or Greece. It’s a good thing to do something like that while you are in your 20s and not entrenched in house payments and other responsibilities. Plus, for an artist, I think it would be a really great experience. So much history, cool architecture, and amazing museums in other countries — new experiences to feed the artistic soul.

I’m hoping to do some things myself to give my creativity a jump start. Just haven’t figured out exactly what yet.

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  1. I missed the post where you got hurt. I hope you’re doing okay. At least you have the guts to put all your hurt and anger out there for the world to see. I admire you for that. I am sure many of your friends out here in the blogger world are feeling some kind of sadness about something. Hang in there. It will get better! Have a noce day with Java.

  2. You are one tough cookie and so is Java if you can go play in the snow at 4 degrees! How exciting that your son may move to London. Greece sounds good to me too. Hope you are feeling better…lots of hot showers?

  3. divorce is excruciating. i’ve been through it, too. (my husband was having an affair.) it was so long ago i barely remember it and here’s hoping that you get to that place, too–where the pain of this one recedes so much it’s immaterial.

    in the meantime, i think getting tons of exercise (as you are) is extremely helpful.

    and london? wow. a free place to stay.

  4. I hope you get out with Java on Saturday. I think winter is a bit harder on everyone’s psyche. Keep up the faith and hope…spring is around the corner. Nothing like new life (grass, trees, ect.) for kick in the creative pants.

  5. Dear Doctor Maery, I’m so glad you and Java are goin’ to romp outside this weekend! It seems to do you worlds of good. Just be sure to cover up all your skin and wear a mask when it’s that cold. Sorry, can’t help the mom that surfaces.
    Your dream travels sound great…what’s holding you back?

    You have a uplifting weekend filled with dreams and blessings sweet one!!!

  6. Just to affirm part of your medical opinion, neck muscle spasms do indeed cause headaches. I have (or maybe ‘used to have’) daily reminders of that.

    I wish that you could see yourself through the eyes of your readers. What an amazingly tough and resilient person you are. And, what a great writer. I know that you can’t see it – but it looks to me like you’re going to come out of this stronger than when you started.

    Here’s to toughing out the weather and having fun with Java on Saturday. I’ll be there with you in spirit!

  7. Dusty – I’m either one tough cookie or in complete denial.

    Lori – I have a really nicely scented pad that you heat in the microwave and put on your shoulders or around your neck.

    Laurie – Visiting London would be interesting. Can’t wait to see what happens with that.

    TC – At least the days are getting to be longer and we’ve had some sunshine lately.

    Nezzy – What holds me back from travel right now is money, horse care, and I need to get past winter so I can drive without worrying about snow and ice.

    KB – I’m needing to get an earlier start on my Saturday outdoor activities, which should make it interesting. Probably no worse than the conditions you face all the time. Thanks for the compliments. They are nice to hear and are helpful in making me stronger.

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