It’s been three years ago today that my Dad passed away. The photo above is the last shot I have of us together. It was taken in May of 2008.

My Dad left behind a lot of questions and having those questions go unanswered, has left behind some hurt. But this morning, I remembered my Dad by making up a smoothie that he would have admired. Because, you see, he believed strongly that you should eat as many of the “superfoods” as you can daily. Unfortunately, that regimen only goes so far when you have cancer. Still, he’d start off the day with a breakfast cereal combination that included:

  • Blueberries
  • Cranberries
  • Broccoli (yes, broccoli)
  • Oats and other high fiber grains
  • Walnuts
  • Yogurt
  • And any other fruit laying around

Along with his breakfast concoction, Dad would have a cup of green tea. And may the saints and angels protect you if you threw out his tea bag before he’d gotten at least two cups of tea out of it!

The smoothie I had in Dad’s honor this morning was a bit different, but I squeezed in some superstuff too. It consisted of:

  • Almond milk
  • One frozen banana
  • Yogurt
  • Oats
  • Protein powder
  • Wheat germ
  • Flax
  • And pumpkin puree

I also made a cup of mango green tea out of a loose leaf tea. But I can only carry tradition so far. No way was I reusing those soggy, spent leaves. Hopefully, as I raised my glass of tea and smoothie glop, Dad saw me and appreciated the gesture of rememberance, because I really do treasure our shared breakfast moments. They were way too few and far between.

And once again, I celebrate my Dad’s life with a bit of bad cowboy poetry. When I read through the poem,  I feared my sentiments may be misunderstood. Our family has a “unique” sense of humor and ways of expressing our feelings, so I hope you’ll see it in that light.

For the Love of a Cowboy Dad

You tried to make us strong
Denied us soft, foo foo stuff
You showed us independent ways
Your talk and actions were off the cuff

I came into the family circle late 
but blood carried things nonetheless
It appears that all along
I was blessed with emotional mess

Your strong, yet tender hugs 
Made me feel so loved and safe
They contradicted your aura of tough
And made me less of a poor, rootless waif

Men have been a disappointment
Don’t love or stay long enuff
I wish you’d shown me men can be different
It wouldn’t have made you a powder puff

Don’t mean to say I don’t love you
Or be verbally rough
Just wish you’d picked your children
To believe in and treat other than gruff

Yeah, sure, I miss you, 
I muttered to the air
Whatever our family was and is
It can only be described as rare

It’s my birth father’s birthday today. He died over two years ago. I decided to try and make today’s poem about him, even though it’s been two years since he died and I’ve already written several poems and posts about him, including:

But there must be more to say and grieve, because writing this poem about did me in. And since I probably won’t do this again, I’m including a number of my favorite photos.

My first trip to meet everyone

Poem for a Missing Cowboy

I miss you Dad
Not too original, huh?
Miss what?
You might have said.
Your big smile
It’s been such a long while
Your red suspenders
You looked so dapper and slender
Gosh dang it!
Too hard to rhyme!
Let me try again
My style
To me
You were colorful kerchiefs
Tied around your neck
You were tall boots
And clanging spurs
Those are just appearances
Yet they defined the man
The beliefs
The value of hard work
What you wanted to build
What you wanted to be
Bigger than life
But that’s only a guess
We didn’t have enough time
To me
You were dry humor
My humor
Mirrored in you
Your humor
Mirrored in me
Your laugh
I still see it
Still hear it
Still smile about it
I miss complaining about
Gas prices
Water being sucked up
By golf courses and overbuilding
Bush and his cronies
Religious fanatics
I don’t miss
Over immigration policies
And such
Still,  I miss your passion
I miss seeing you
Handling a horse
Weeding and raking
Your piece of the desert
In your outdoor kitchen
Chewwwyyy steaks
Didn’t matter
It was so good
To all be together
I miss your stories
Of running away
Rodeo times
I tried to remember
Every word
Every gesture
So hungry for
My family
For so long
You loved competition
Cattle drives
A good argument
Your kerplunks
Nonchallantly dropped
Just a few words
Like worms dangling
From a fishing line
To see who would bite
Even after death
You managed to stir things up
Such a sickly mess
I don’t understand
Not that I try anymore
To figure it out
It’s not that I
Expected anything
Didn’t expect
Just wished
For a gesture
A final word
Being a giveaway
I learned early
Not to expect much
If at all
I was angry
That you threw me away
I still am I guess
Even when I deny it
But I miss you
Every day
I miss all of us
So much has changed
Since you’ve been gone
So much hurt
So many things
Went wrong
And so soon after
Too soon after
Losing you
More time
I wish
We’d all had
More time

It’s my sister SB’s birthday today so I did my best to write a birthday poem.

Sis, it’s not the same as getting a poem from Dad, but I hope you know it comes from the heart and that I’m thinking of both of you today.

She’s a wiley coyote
With mischief in her eyes.
A desert gal
Who enjoys gittin’ a rise.
You always know
Exactly what’s on her mind.
A more open heart
You will never find.
I don’t always follow her advice.
Not made of the same stuff
She’s clan of tigers
I’m clan of mice.
Happy birthday sis!
I hope you’re havin’ fun.
And always remember
I love you a ton.

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