General

Changing Lanes

We forget sometimes how much the world can hurt.
It can hurt people we love,
people we don’t,
people caught in the middle,
even people who would give anything to never, ever get hurt again.
But sometimes the hurt can’t be avoided,
It’s just coming at us and can’t be stopped.
It’s in us and can’t be seen,
or is lying next to us in the dark, waiting.
But sometimes it doesn’t come at all.
Sometimes we get this other thing that flutters down out of nowhere,
and stays just long enough to give us hope.
Sometimes rarely, barely, but just when we need it the most
and expect it the least,
we get a break.
(from In Plain Sight, April 7, 2010, USA Network)

Hurt can be like a seed planted by another person in our life, but we end up being the one that waters it and keeps it growing. At some point, the damage is self-inflicted and becomes our own fault and responsibility.

It’s a lot of work not to get stuck in the past, to not let those hurts define me. I used to think the right person, the right situation, the right job, some “break” would erase the hurt and make me whole again. It doesn’t work that way. I either see myself as whole and complete or I don’t. Nobody and nothing on earth is going to make it all better for me. And if I don’t stop looking behind me, I may not even notice what’s right in front of me.

Checking the rearview mirror and taking a look over your shoulder before you make a lane change is a good idea, but that’s it, just a glance, before you focus back on what’s in front of you. Because that’s what matters now.

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10 Comments

  1. I couldn’t agree more. Each life event, whether happy or sad, becomes part of us… there’s no escaping that. The hard part is making it a GOOD part of us…

  2. You said, “And if I don’t stop looking behind me, I may not even notice what’s right in front of me.”

    Right on sister! And yes, it’s still good to glance back at the past to remind us of where we’ve been and where we don’t want to end up again. Just as with history, can teach us things, but it ca also bog us down and stop us from moving forward.

    I still struggle with this after all of last year’s pain and frustrations from my injuries.
    Apache has done nothing to make me mistrust her or feel afraid yet I do, because of my past with another horse.

    I am trying to let go, but it’s hard, because I’m terrified of getting hurt again.

    But I’m afraid, too, that if I don’t let go, I won’t be able to allow myself to enter into a trusting partnership with Apache…and that’s not fair to her or I.

    Letting down our protective sheilds can be very scary, eh?

    ((((hugs)))
    ~Lisa

  3. I just heard someone talk about living without regrets. Not so much that we don’t regret some things but that we go forward in life without fear of making mistakes or become paralyzed by our mistakes of the past. We learn and we keep trying.

    Lisa – I’m sorry you are having to deal with fear from past injuries. I hope that Apache is the horse that gets you past all that, in the way that Luke managed to do for me. You can’t “try” to let go. You just do somehow. I wish I had a formula for exactly how it happens. Maybe just have faith that it will. I am sending hugs and faith your way. It’s going to work out. Imagine it, how it would feel until you see it clear as day. Then ride it just the same way that you imagined it.

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