No matter how many plans we make or steps we follow, we never know how our day is going to end up. We’d prefer to know of course, what curveballs will be thrown our way. It’s the accidents that always turn out to be the most interesting parts of our day (or life), the people we never expected to show up, a turn of events we’d never have chosen for ourselves. All of the sudden, you find yourself somewhere you never expected to be, and it’s nice, or it takes some getting used to. Still, maybe you’ll find yourself appreciating it somewhere down the line. So you go to sleep each night thinking about tomorrow, going over your plans, preparing for them, and hoping that whatever accidents come your way will be happy ones.
— Grey’s Anatomy, March 4, 2010
What would I do without Grey’s Anatomy to tell me that it’s going to be alright?
I took a day off on Friday and spent my vacation and most of today preparing for a house showing. I also turned on all the lights, turned up the heat, and even tried to raise the temp in the basement with an electric heater before the showing. Cha ching!
Why do I think that this actually does any good? They came (evidenced by my open closet door and they turned off most the lights, very considerate) but the realtor didn’t leave a card and didn’t even stay the full hour. So for less than an hour spent looking at the house I spent about 16 hours preparing.
Much of the prep had to do with the ice on the front steps, which was about 4 inches thick in the worst spots.
I used salt. I drove to three stores before I found more salt after I ran out of the first batch. I chopped. I shoveled. I used a broom to swish off the continual water. Even so, the ice just rebuilt. Clean at 12:00. Ice again at 1:00. Clean at 2:00. Ice again at 3:00 And so it went. Frustrating. This was as good as I could finally get it.
Besides the battle of the ice, I cleaned the house. Burned the rubbish in the barn, which meant carrying a barrel of garbage down to the fire pit, which wasn’t too bad until I got to a the sloped section in the shade where the snow came up to my knees. I swept the cement slab in the barn. I scrubbed and refilled the horses’ water tank (that I did for the horses not the looky loos). I did two loads of laundry (that I did for me). I baked bread for that psychological “isn’t this place homy” feeling.
Why do I do this to myself?!
There are so many other things I could have done with that time! Like brush my horses who are starting to shed and look like hell. I could have done some writing. Java and I could have gone for a walk – we did make it out to the mailbox. Java checked out the creek on the way.
Right now, my left shoulder muscles are twitching, this is new and utterly annoying. Thank goodness I have a massage appointment next week.
So back to Grey’s Anatomy and Meredith’s closing monologue. In how many ways can I relate to this one? I am certainly in a place I never imagined I’d be. And it’s not a turn of events that I would have chosen for myself. It is taking some getting used to.
I’m finally getting to the point where I believe my life is going to turn out better with this change in course. Life right now is not easy and it’s certainly not always pleasant and I don’t know how long it’s going to take before the days stop being so gosh darn hard. Maybe it’s just a matter of spring coming and melting the ice away. Or maybe that’s just life. And if the highlight of the day is the trip out to the mailbox, that’s okay as long as you enjoy the view along the way.